Well, girlies - I guess the time has come to think about setting off.

At long last our visas have arrived. As you know, they DID take longer than usual. The Himalayan authorities didn't like the serrated edges of the applications, but when I explained that Lyn had trimmed them with her new pinking shears so that they looked like a mountain range, they were quite happy.

How about Boxing day or the day after? How's the kit coming on? Are we all ready and have we got suitable footwear and clothing?

The knitted safety net is ALMOST complete tho I'm worried the holes are a tad big.
I have also baked some very special budgie seed cake which i can assure you will take us higher than any mountain peak.

So pleased you're all nearly ready.

Sorry the safety net is a bit behindhand. It's my fault as I asked Julie to make me a balaclava. It is quite splendid (bright green bedecked with branches hung with baubles) and I have tethered a rooster loosely to a pole on top as I thought we needed a weather vain up on Everest. The whole pole and rooster swivel in the wind. I have also had Julie knit me a long wind sock but haven't decided where to attach it as yet! I have purchased some flashing frogmens flippers just in case I end up in water. I remember with horrific clarity the episode in Trafalgar Square Fountain last New Years Eve.

I shall be wearing a bright green leather diving suit, over which I shall put my purple and gold tutu. I will complete the ensemble with the pumped up inner tube from an old spare type around my waist...see above re Trafalgar Square Fountain.

That was a great idea about the especially spiky crampons, Kathleen - pity I can't say the same about your outfit. I really do worry about Doreen too. Just a tad on the tacky side I think. Julie and Eleanor's cake? Well, I'll eat my hat if it arrives in tact and unbitten. We will see.

And what on earth are we going to do with Lyn...................?

Alright Jean, we got it the first time!

Hi Lyn,

No problem the reindeer is more than welcome, I will make a place warm and cosy for him. I was out tonight picking up my daughter of the plane from Norway and I could not believe how cold it was. So I am definitely investing in thermals for under my Christmas red fluff outfit. Will look so cool with the stripped wellies and feather boas. Jean don't despair I have some packed for you.... strippey wellies that is.

Lyn your welcome to join the reindeer for company, You would be most welcome. There is another pair of strippy wellies for Lyn too. I am also bringing my snuggle blanket as I could not believe how cold I was out. I can bring haggis for everyone, it will go with the booze and cake Followed by Iron bru and whiskey with shortbread mmmm. Jenni I have little costumes for Bernice little dance outfits my daughters don't fit anymore. Think there is reindeer ears too with bells on.

Jean your outfit sounds fantastic, and Eleanor and Julie's cake my word sounds amazing. We can have turns tasting the gin...... just in case it freezes up. You never know Ho Ho Ho. Doreen, Kathleen, and everyone we will look like the Blackpool illuminations with out fancy dresses. In fact better, I hope Santa appreciates the effort we are going too. Or may he will be too scared to disagree. Ha ha

It depends on who will be wrapped in tinfoil.......you or the fireman?

Oven-ready fireman....very tasty!

Ok.

Can I just clarify the plan?

We are off with the sherpas, firemen in tin foil and the reindeer off to the airport. Jean has her "outfit" sorted and Bernice has a little dancing one coming.

I have been trying to sticky tape the feathers boas together to make a swooshy dress that flares out in my wake. Sadly the tape didnt hold too well and so I have gone for something seasonal and arranged a Hop garland, tinsel and bawbles to cover the essentials.

Madonna has nothing on me!

You will be pleased to know that the unwanted Bobble hats collection has gone well and been stitching them together to make wooly bras- dont worry Jean, have got Russian ushanka's ready for us

Bernice tells me that "Barber kissmouse" liffs up the chimlee and brings the BeeBee Jesus. So thats theology sorted for the trip then

So, when is the big off? I need to get those bras finished....

Bernice will be perfect at interpreting ! She has a head start on the rest of us as she appears to have been practising. Jenni you seem to have forgotten the St Bernard and the darned snake? Despite trying to lose the snake at the airport last week, Kathleen has rescued it as usual. Despite Heathrow being closed, she skated all the way back once she realised that he was stuck in the tuba. Saw her on the news! She was dressed in tin foil pretending to be a waiting passenger as someone stole her skates in an attempt to make their way home and out of all the chaos.

Actually just wondering if we need to go to Katmandu. Ben Nevis would be lovely at this time of year and it would be nice to spend Hogmanay at the Edinburgh street party on our way back. What do you think? I presume that Lorna will enjoy this as she is already packing her irn bru and haggis.

Julie, try and mend the holes in the net. Lyn will cut anything and you know what she is like if she sees a hole in the market (or net)! She also appeared on the news this week , standing under the Big One offering haircuts to raise money for charity. Sadly, she had to use it to pay her fine the next morning as she cut the wires running the machinery and brought it all down.

My outfit is coming along. A mixture of tinsel, glitter and fur! Managed to get a close fitting balaclava at the market (to keep safe from she who wields the scissors)which I am decorating with seasonal satsumas. Ever practical, I am thinking that they could provide fruit for after the haggis.

By the way, who is in charge of Julie? As this is a climbing holiday, we really do need to control her antics. She is bad enough normally! Shamed as we were at Trafalger Square fountains by Jean and Mary before we noticed (at the same time as the police) her climbing the lions with her floaty green number flying up in the air! Took lots of singing and dancing by Doreen to raise the bail money for you lot. As for Amanda and Jenni! Stringfellows is out this year after the performance by them and Kathleen's darn snake! Goodness only knows what they would do with a St Bernard and a reindeer!

Just as well to go to another country. We have become well known (some of us notorious) in both Blackpool and London. I am sure that it was outside influences that led us astray.

Can just see us now in all our finery, being led up the mountain by the ceilidh band, a St Bernard, Rudolph, sherpas, the commode carrying essential medicinal cake and liquids and tin foiled fire men as well as that darned snake.